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Pokémon Trainer Red
Red ( ) (not to be confused with his lookalike Ash Ketchum) is a very powerful Pokémon Trainer from Pallet Town, Kanto. He was the Indigo League Champion for twenty-one months before leaving to train on Mt. Silver. His biological father is Norman, a serial adulterer of Hoenn, responsible for conceiving Ethan, Landon, Marina Birch, May, Leaf, Diamond, Dawn, Hilda, X, Serena, and Victor. Biography Red was born to his unnamed mother in Pallet Town, and shortly thereafter, he found his life-long rival in another infant Blue Oak, who tried to steal Red’s mother’s breast milk. Blue was ultra-competetive (though not as obsessive as his cousin Gary Oak). Blue always bragged about having the best juice boxes at lunch time, being the best at dodgeball, and figuring out masturbation at age 9. He believed that Red couldn't keep up with him. In spite of this, they became good friends at age 10. Unfortunately, Blue's competetive side resurfaced by March the following year. Blue received his Pokémon Trainer's license, so Red felt the need to get his too. Professor Oak was going to gift Red an Eevee, but Blue ended up selfishly taking it instead. As a result, Oak gave Red the only Pikachu on Route 1 (which he had caught minutes earlier). In a stunning turn of events, Red's Pikachu managed to beat Blue's Eevee in battle. In any case, Professor Oak gave both boys their own PokéDex (a portable machine that makes up data after a Pokémon is obtained) and asked them to fill it up for him because he's too old to fulfill his dream himself. Thus, Red's quest to become the Indigo League Champion began. Red found it very difficult to defeat Pewter City's Gym Leader Brock without a water- or grass-type. He did some pretty intense grinding and eventually managed to beat him. Shortly thereafter, Red traveled west to Mt. Moon. There he started getting into Pokémon battles with Team Rocket Grunts, who were all using relatively easy-to-defeat Pokémon considering they were an organized criminal organization. Red took one of the fossils Team Rocket was after (with a selfish nerd taking the other one), but the Team Rocket admins decided the grunts were just incompetent for not being able to stop a child. Red made it out of Mt. Moon and headed east to Cerulean City. Red met up with his rival Blue again and beats him in a Pokémon battle. After beating the pitiful trainers on Nugget Bridge, Red caught the eye of a Team Rocket member who tried desperately to convince him to join Team Rocket to no avail. After another battle with Team Rocket, he helped Pokémaniac Bill (the idiot genius behind the PC storage system in Kanto) with an experiment and received a ticket to the S.S. Anne. Soon after, he defeated Gym Leader Misty. Red took the underground path to Vermillion, where he boarded the S.S. Anne, where he battled many restless passengers and won against his rival. He might have killed Blue's Raticate in the process, but according to a Wumbo University drop-out named Matthew Patrick, this was not the case, so the police let Red go after they found out about it years later. In any case, Red received a Hidden Machine (or HM) for "Cut," so he could chop down a plant blocking his way to the electric-type gym. (He could have cut it down with a chainsaw, but there was a glitch preventing him from getting one.) Red exited the S.S. Anne, which prompty departed the harbor until the following year. He soon challenged Lt. Surge, the gym leader of Vermillion City and won. After taking a detour to obtain the HM Flash and soon after, finding the regular path to Lavender Town and Fushia City blocked by a sleeping Snorlax, Red journeyed east of Cerulean City and through Rock Tunnel to Lavender Town. At Pokémon Tower, a multi-story graveyard where all of Kanto's dead Pokémon are apparently buried, he ran into his rival (secretly mourning over his dead Raticate) and once again beat him in a Pokémon battle. The tower was full of people possessed by ghost-types Gastly and Haunter but also strange ghosts that can't be battled without a Silph Scope due to the crippling fear Pokémon experience while attempting to fight such unidentified ghosts. Red traveled through the other underground path to Celadon City where he discovered the Rocket Game Corner. He soon discovered a secret passageway leading to Team Rocket's underground hideout. Red continued to beat multiple Team Rocket Grunts before eventually finding their leader Giovanni, who failed to beat Red at a Pokémon battle. (It's unclear why Giovanni didn't just shoot Red with a gun at this point.) Giovanni handed over the Silph Scope, and Team Rocket soon retreated. Red went on to beat grass-type Gym Leader Erika. Red returned to Pokémon Tower. He had his Pokémon beat up the ghost of a mother Marowak killed by Team Rocket, battled some more dumb as Hell Team Rocket grunts, and brought Mr. Fuji back to his home in the town. Mr. Fuji (who was secretly the scientist responsible for creating Mewtwo before retiring in Lavender Town to atone for his sins against nature) gave Red a Poké Flute to awaken sleeping Pokémon, so Red went South of Lavender Town to wake up and capture the Snorlax blocking the path. Red made it to Fushia, caught some Pokémon in the Safari Zone (where he also obtained the HM for Surf), and beat poison-type Gym Leader Koga. Red then decided to go to Saffron City and challenge the Gym Leader. Unfortunately, Red entered the wrong building (the one labeledd "GYM") and was unable to receive a badge from the Fighting-type leader (not that it would do anything since the Indigo League decided the Psychic-type gym would be the only gym in the city back in 1996). Red wanted to challenge Sabrina, but there was a Rocket Grunt standing in front of the gym, and the grunt wouldn't move. Red then decided to travel across the various floors in the Silph Co building and defeat all the Team Rocket grunts before beating his rival and soon after Giovanni. The President of Silph Co was incredibly grateful for being saved from Team Rocket. Red defeated Sabrina and moved along. In Cinnabar Island, Red traveled through the old abandoned labratory where Mewtwo was made so he could find the key to the fire-type gym. By this point, Red had little trouble defeating Gym Leader Blaine. The island would later be blown up by one of Morshu's bombs. Red soon found himself back in Viridian City to challenge the mysterious ground-type gym leader. Once there, he was shocked to find the gym was run by Giovanni himself. A battle was fought, but Red came out on top. Giovanni decided to give up the ghost and leave Team Rocket behind (not that those idiots would give up until three years later). With all eight gym badges, Red headed west and fought his rival one last time before Victory Road and the Elite Four. Red soon battled each of the Elite Four one-by-one until he had defeated Dragon-type trainer Lance. Unfortunately, that asshat Blue Oak had already beaten the Elite Four and become Indigo League champion. Red had one last person to beat before he could be the Pokémon champion: his former friend Blue. It was an incredible battle (since both trainers had the common sense not to specialize in only one type), but Red came out on top and was admitted into the Hall of Fame by Professor Oak, who shunned his own damn grandson from being the first champion. Blue's an asshat, but the professor's low-key kind of heartless. Nonetheless, Red had secured his status as the Indigo League Champion on 12 July 2003. Over the next ten months, his approval rating was very high, but sometime during this period, something in him changed. He abandoned completing the PokéDex and became rather cocky, refusing to change his Pokémon after sending them out. In April 2005, he left to train at Mt. Silver, making Lance the Pokémon Champion of both Kanto and Johto until September 28, 2006, when Red's biological half-brother Ethan became the Indigo League Champion. Ethan traveled to Mt. Silver on November 20, 2006 and defeated Red in a great Pokémon battle. Red then disappeared to parts unknown. It's still not clear what happened to him. Pokémon Team Despite not being gifted an Eevee as his first Pokémon as Professor Oak had anticipated, Red ended up receiving all three of the starter Pokémon (Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Blastoise) from different situations in Kanto. At the time he entered the Hall of Fame, Red’s team consisted of Pikachu, Venusaur, Blastoise, Charizard, Snorlax, and Hypno. Once his Hypno was arrested for grand theft auto, Red opted to evolve the Eevee he received from the Celadon Mansion into the newly discovered Espeon. Trivia *Red's mother is still waiting for her son to visit her again in Pallet Town. *There's a reason Red can't fight wild ghost-types without the Silph Scope. While visiting Lavender Town shortly at the same time Red arrived, Steven Crowder set up a table with a sign that read "Red can't fight wild ghost-types without the Silph Scope because his Pokémon get too scared. Change my mind." Red and several other people attempted to change his mind but were unable to do so. *Apparently, neither Red nor his rival Blue was the first champion. This honor goes to some random kid named Ritchie who achieved this feat in a tournament in 2000. Unfortunately, Ritchie was removed as Champion after he reportedly "went all emo," though Ritchie claims he was merely "hardcore goth," which he felt is not the same thing. Ritchie was assassinated in 2007 by some crazy shmuck who did it for no reason. *Strangely, Red never battled Bert from Team Rocket. Burt was in the can for three hours during Red's raid of the Rocket Game Corner. Category:Characters Category:Males Category:Pokemon Category:Pokemon Trainers Category:Children Category:Super Smash Bros.